i'm either here or there

Some time ago, (maybe June-ish? i can't remember...), the side-vew mirror on my car (her name is Audrey. Audrey the Golden Miracle.) was grafittied with a little heart.  I remember seeing it there, softly and lovingly smeared through the summer dirt and grime, and feeling incredibly happy for its surprise appearance.  Of course I wondered who did it.  Was it someone I knew? (not super likely... i don't know very many people in this town, and not sure how many of them know my car) Was it someone who was just in a good mood?  (how great would that be? I'm just annoyingly optimistic enough to believe that a happy stranger could do something like that.)  Was it someone (really?really?!) who had a secret crush on me?  (again, not likely.)  So, tonight there was a light rain and as I pulled into my drive (after returning from a grocery shopping spree) i noticed it again... but this time, the heart was visible only by the rain drops left sticking to the finger smear.  I had forgotten about it, but there it was again-- a little heart for me.  And who doesn't need a little heart on a Saturday night?  But...  I still wonder: who did it?  was it you?

home now from my holiday travels home to minneapolis. i always miss that city when i'm not there, and happy to be there when i am--so easy to live in (cheap rent, easy parking, public transport could be better but...) yet you still get all the amenities of a larger metro area (great restaurants, great bars, excellent movie theaters, art museums, good coffee, interesting people-watching, great music venues, etc). i hear it's a good poetry scene though when i lived there i was clueless about it. i mean, i went to readings but i didn't know any local poets, mostly because i'm shy around people i don't know, and most of my friends there were/are visual artists and in local bands (excepting the fantastically talented juliet). speaking of mpls bands, i saw the rank strangers last weekend for about the millionth time and they rocked even more than i remember them rocking my shit in the past. going places, those boys. check them out.

so, yeah, "home"... i don't know where that is, really. i've been calling minneapolis home for 7 years and i haven't lived there for 5. when i come back to lewisburg, the "realest fake town in america," i sort of call it home, but it doesn't really feel like it. and even though i have no immediate plans to go back to mpls, whenever i stand on that bridge i feel something incredibly familiar and loved is near, under, around me... "here it is...steel and air..." thanks, ashbery...